Sometimes You Gotta Move, Sometimes You Gotta Stay Where You Are

Welcome to my very first blog post!

In September I moved to Charleston, South Carolina after 25 years in Boston.  Moving can be a form of running away and years ago I would dream of picking up and going across country, California or anywhere else; or day dream about backpacking through Europe or South American.  But for good or bad it was not possible – I was too crippled emotionally and living in poverty to boot.  So I had to settle for dragging my bed and books and music equipment to another crappy apartment in Boston, hoping that in the process a magical transformation would take place. But I was always right there, same as before, heavy in my heart, terrified like a corner animal, and only the surroundings changed.

Still, sometimes a place is not right for you. When I meet people who have found their right place they say things like “I will live here the rest of my life God willing “and you can tell they mean it, there is a sense of “ahh” and relief in them.  Boston was never like this for me.  But the city served by shinning a stark merciless light on all the broken bleeding bits inside me and in doing so compelled me to seeking healing.  New Hampshire’s logo is “Live Free or Die;” mine, was “Heal or Die”. I am not exaggerating. I was either actively seeking death or actively seeking health my entire time in Boston.

But fortunately Boston is behind me.  This time I am not running away from something, but rather going towards. What – only time can tell, but I have not left any bits of me behind. Instead I gratefully embrace every moment I live, breath, laugh or cry. Charleston is already a blessing, a city where people don’t beep at you constantly and instead smile freely at you just because you are there.  The warmer weather doesn’t hurt either.  I am beginning to have a sense of “ahh”.  After only two months I am already feeling freer. More healed.  Live Free, Die Happy. That’s my motto now.